Ode to email.

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We use verbal phrases like

drop you an email” and

flick you an email”

but really,

emails are hard work,

no?

 

Length and content reciprocity are important, because who’d appreciate

“kthx”

to a ten paragraph

essay essay essay
essay essay essay
essay essay essay
essay essay essay?

 

Should you use an exclamation mark here!!!

How about a smiley face :) :) :)

Emojis are a no-go right?!

 

How can I title my email subject so that it looks

important and urgenty

but not

DEMANDING AND ANNOYING?

 

Oh good grieve the politics of  c c – i n g  and  b c c – i n g .

 

Should I delete the bit that says “sent from my iPhone” etc?
Am I a hard mobile worker
or
couldn’t I be bothered to get to my laptop?

 

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Please respond at your soonest convenience.

Let me know ASAP.

PLS REVERT.

 

Oops. File now attached.

 

Best,

 

Emails are heavy affective objects.

Idk about you but I’m no Olympian.

 

End.

 

PS: inbox zero gloating.