Phoenix is basically Western Australia with cacti.

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As punishment for being Internet researchers we now have to dine in the desert.
It’s like academic Survivor.

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These are so pretty.
I feel bad making these pretty things into poop.

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I am tweeting from a toilet cubicle.
There are four teens taking toilet mirror selfies.
An adult woman is telling them they are beautiful

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Our über driver: “People are so nice. I’ve driven in NO funeral processions.”
Our über driver is now singing Waltzing Matilda in honour of the two Australians in the car.

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I’m sitting in Johnny Rockets.
80s jude box music is blaring.
Elvis’ Jailhouse Rock comes on.
This man takes his wife’s hand.
They walk to the floor space in front of the cashier.
He counts down.
They dance.