Work-talk aside, this is 0146hrs wishcrys declaring I’ve survived a personal crisis day. However, I’m baffled by my commitment to my work:
1) I had to postpone a meeting by a few hours. My colleague thought I was mad not to take the day off because crisis. I didn’t.
2) When I had a spare moment, I emailed a bunch of folks apologizing for late submissions and deadlines today. With minimal drama.
3) Even though I’m exhausted to the bone and haven’t slept in two million years, I updated my field diary before allowing this downtime.
4) I say this not to boast of my so-called professionalism or to humblebrag about being a workaholic, but cos I learnt things about myself:
5) That I need time to transit out of work-focused wishcrys despite grief. It doesnt hit me fast and hard. I process while my day continues.
6) That I love and enjoy my work so it isn’t a chore/distraction from grief, but a relief, because I am in my element. I know this space.
7) That I have an internal Keep Calm and Carry On momentum, so the grief inside doesn’t manifest on the outside. Doesn’t mean I’m a robot.
8) I like brainfart writing to make sense of life. I only wish Twitter wasn’t the top hit when people Google my name, cos context erasure.
9) Okay goodnight from 0202hrs wishcrys. More crisis management and fieldwork and Life Goes On™ tmr.
wishcrys, over and out.