This is part 2 of a series of 9 blogposts. Read other posts in the series here:
(2) The physical
(3) The body specific
(4) Demographical compatibility
(5) Family life
(7) Gendered imaginaries
(8) Personal interests and abstract metaphors
(9) Existential navigations
This second installment aims to loosely thematize some discursive negotiations of love and life based on season 5 of Fei Cheng Wu Rao (非诚勿扰)/If You Are The One around ‘The physical’. [Image heavy]
Screen grabs obtained from ‘Commemorative Fashion Shoes‘ Tumblr with permission from the owner
(a) The men want a pretty lady and they aren’t unabashed about it.
And the women also explicitly acknowledge their good looks as a personal asset.
But that’s not to say the blokes don’t have to match up in this department as well. Visual assessment (however brief or superficial) flows both ways.
(b) A few of the men are a little more forthcoming about their self-perceived lack of good looks.
But some are more self-aware and candidly honest about the powers of aesthetic manipulation.
And some women exercise agentic linguistics and attempt to redefine the men’s evaluations of them.
(c) We soon realize that physical attraction is not an all-or-nothing game. It entails careful calibrations and a conscious balance between desire and security. Simply put, the women want an attractive man they take pride in, but who *simultaneously* will not conjure the envy and lust of other women. It is very complex math.
(d) One mustn’t be too skinny.
Some times it’s because being skinny isn’t aesthetically attractive.
Some times being skinny connotes a lack of masculine strength and the capacity to provide and protect.
Other times there are more… eugenical concerns.
(e) One mustn’t be too fat either.
But some times a fat bodies are appreciated.
In fact, fat can be cute.
More fat = more cute?
Or perhaps being fat is acceptable if you have other glowing qualities that make up for it.
Some women are honest with concerns about their own desirability.
And it’s no wonder, since the fat discourse largely revolves around weight loss and desirability.
(f) Some times the women like their men muscular.
So some men flaunt what they have in word and flex.
(g) Physical contact is important.
tldr? Skinny or fat, you better get the balance right. After all, hugs are very complex negotiations.
Any thoughts? Beep me! Installment three on The body specific to come.