Negotiating love and life on Fei Cheng Wu Rao/If You Are The One – (2) The physical

This is part 2 of a series of 9 blogposts. Read other posts in the series here:
(1) Introduction
(2) The physical
(3) The body specific
(4) Demographical compatibility
(5) Family life
(6) Self-identity
(7) Gendered imaginaries
(8) Personal interests and abstract metaphors
(9) Existential navigations

This second installment aims to loosely thematize some discursive negotiations of love and life based on season 5 of Fei Cheng Wu Rao (非诚勿扰)/If You Are The One around ‘The physical’. [Image heavy]

Screen grabs obtained from ‘Commemorative Fashion Shoes‘ Tumblr with permission from the owner

(a) The men want a pretty lady and they aren’t unabashed about it.

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And the women also explicitly acknowledge their good looks as a personal asset.

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But that’s not to say the blokes don’t have to match up in this department as well. Visual assessment (however brief or superficial) flows both ways.

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(b) A few of the men are a little more forthcoming about their self-perceived lack of good looks.

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But some are more self-aware and candidly honest about the powers of aesthetic manipulation.

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And some women exercise agentic linguistics and attempt to redefine the men’s evaluations of them.

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(c) We soon realize that physical attraction is not an all-or-nothing game. It entails careful calibrations and a conscious balance between desire and security. Simply put, the women want an attractive man they take pride in, but who *simultaneously* will not conjure the envy and lust of other women. It is very complex math.

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(d) One mustn’t be too skinny.

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Some times it’s because being skinny isn’t aesthetically attractive.

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Some times being skinny connotes a lack of masculine strength and the capacity to provide and protect.

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Other times there are more… eugenical concerns.

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(e) One mustn’t be too fat either.

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But some times a fat bodies are appreciated.

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In fact, fat can be cute.

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More fat = more cute?

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Or perhaps being fat is acceptable if you have other glowing qualities that make up for it.

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Some women are honest with concerns about their own desirability.

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And it’s no wonder, since the fat discourse largely revolves around weight loss and desirability.

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(f) Some times the women like their men muscular.

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So some men flaunt what they have in word and flex.

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(g) Physical contact is important.

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tldr? Skinny or fat, you better get the balance right. After all, hugs are very complex negotiations.

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Any thoughts? Beep me! Installment three on The body specific to come.

Let's chat! Beep here!

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