Negotiating love and life on Fei Cheng Wu Rao/If You Are The One – (6) Self-identity

This is part 6 of a series of 9 blogposts. Read other posts in the series here:
(1) Introduction
(2) The physical
(3) The body specific
(4) Demographical compatibility
(5) Family life
(6) Self-identity
(7) Gendered imaginaries
(8) Personal interests and abstract metaphors
(9) Existential navigations

This sixth installment aims to loosely thematize some discursive negotiations of love and life based on season 5 of Fei Cheng Wu Rao (非诚勿扰)/If You Are The One around ‘Self-identity’. [Image heavy]

Screen grabs obtained from ‘Commemorative Fashion Shoes‘ Tumblr with permission from the owner

(a) Some of the male contestants are pretty confident with extremely high self-esteem.

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And in response, the women speak their mind.

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To avoid this,

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always remember these wise words.

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(b) Some men evaluate themselves.

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But some times this backfires.

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Other times, the men risk all to evaluate the female contenders.

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And some times family and friends attempt to shower (somewhat lukewarm) praise.

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(c) As evidenced, words are tricky things.

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Do not speak too much.

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Better still, do not speak at all.

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It really is difficult to ascertain one’s personality from haphazardly brief conversations. But hey, who’s keeping score?

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(d) Male contestants speak of their sadness and loneliness from being single.

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And this emotion may even manifest despite carefully curated stage(d) presence.

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A few attempt to negotiate and negate these darker emotions.

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Once in a blue moon, the women contenders also engage in vulnerable revelations.

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The general mood may be sombre, but it is strategically juxtaposed against the glimpse of finding love that the show offers.

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(e) Most other times, the power play is salient. The women pride themselves as conquests awaiting a worthy man.

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The discourse of ‘handling’ a woman often incites male contestants to snap into ‘challenge accepted‘ mode.

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Some women dish out tips and scripts for ‘taming’ them.

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Others are willingly subserviant.

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And some men do come ready with these expectations.

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Although a few admit to the challenge.

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And the cheeky sit-in psychologists are quick to relate power to pleasure.

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However, in some cases, it’s the women who prefer to command more power and decision-making.

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(f) Following from power and pleasure, we now look at a different form of aggression and pleasure… sort of?

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Can’t tell if affectionate jostling,

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Or actually borderline domestic violence.

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Some times, even the male contestants seem confused themselves.

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Or perhaps, some of this preference is rooted in a deep-rooted history?

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Any thoughts? Beep me! Installment seven on Gendered imaginaries to come.

One thought on “Negotiating love and life on Fei Cheng Wu Rao/If You Are The One – (6) Self-identity

  1. By the way, you haven’t yet given a mention to the men who come on the show to win a specific girl of the 24. They (almost) throw all negotiations out the window.

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