Negotiating love and life on Fei Cheng Wu Rao/If You Are The One – (6) Self-identity

This is part 6 of a series of 9 blogposts. Read other posts in the series here:
(1) Introduction
(2) The physical
(3) The body specific
(4) Demographical compatibility
(5) Family life
(6) Self-identity
(7) Gendered imaginaries
(8) Personal interests and abstract metaphors
(9) Existential navigations

This sixth installment aims to loosely thematize some discursive negotiations of love and life based on season 5 of Fei Cheng Wu Rao (非诚勿扰)/If You Are The One around ‘Self-identity’. [Image heavy]

Screen grabs obtained from ‘Commemorative Fashion Shoes‘ Tumblr with permission from the owner

(a) Some of the male contestants are pretty confident with extremely high self-esteem.

And in response, the women speak their mind.

To avoid this,

always remember these wise words.

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(b) Some men evaluate themselves.

But some times this backfires.

Other times, the men risk all to evaluate the female contenders.

And some times family and friends attempt to shower (somewhat lukewarm) praise.

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(c) As evidenced, words are tricky things.

Do not speak too much.

Better still, do not speak at all.

It really is difficult to ascertain one’s personality from haphazardly brief conversations. But hey, who’s keeping score?

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(d) Male contestants speak of their sadness and loneliness from being single.

And this emotion may even manifest despite carefully curated stage(d) presence.

A few attempt to negotiate and negate these darker emotions.

Once in a blue moon, the women contenders also engage in vulnerable revelations.

The general mood may be sombre, but it is strategically juxtaposed against the glimpse of finding love that the show offers.

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(e) Most other times, the power play is salient. The women pride themselves as conquests awaiting a worthy man.

The discourse of ‘handling’ a woman often incites male contestants to snap into ‘challenge accepted‘ mode.

Some women dish out tips and scripts for ‘taming’ them.

Others are willingly subserviant.

And some men do come ready with these expectations.

Although a few admit to the challenge.

And the cheeky sit-in psychologists are quick to relate power to pleasure.

However, in some cases, it’s the women who prefer to command more power and decision-making.

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(f) Following from power and pleasure, we now look at a different form of aggression and pleasure… sort of?

Can’t tell if affectionate jostling,

Or actually borderline domestic violence.

Some times, even the male contestants seem confused themselves.

Or perhaps, some of this preference is rooted in a deep-rooted history?

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Any thoughts? Beep me! Installment seven on Gendered imaginaries to come.