Negotiating love and life on Fei Cheng Wu Rao/If You Are The One – (4) Demographical compatibility

This is part 4 of a series of 9 blogposts. Read other posts in the series here:
(1) Introduction
(2) The physical
(3) The body specific
(4) Demographical compatibility
(5) Family life
(6) Self-identity
(7) Gendered imaginaries
(8) Personal interests and abstract metaphors
(9) Existential navigations

This fourth installment aims to loosely thematize some discursive negotiations of love and life based on season 5 of Fei Cheng Wu Rao (非诚勿扰)/If You Are The One around ‘Demographical compatibility’. [Image heavy]

Screen grabs obtained from ‘Commemorative Fashion Shoes‘ Tumblr with permission from the owner

(a) There is a shelf life in the dating market.

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And there are some dating-virgins.

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Some attempt to reconcile their singlehood and age by altering self-percept or by reaffirming their principles.

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Others are more acute about age sensitivities.

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Some times contestants attempt to manipulate time.

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And one mustn’t appear too young or too old, unless, of course, that appeals to the type of partner they are after.

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There are the cougars and their willing men.

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But men who remind you of your dad always seem to be a no-no.

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(b) Some women are forefront about a men’s earning power.

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And I mean, really forefront.

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Literally, your money = my money.

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Although they occasionally try to suss this out by talking about the men’s spending power, or branch into discussions about saving and financial planning.

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Some men have family and friends whose insightful/honest/candid revelations cause a string of blue (gooood) to turn pink (baaaad) in succession. (Psst, remember this switch is accompanied by a devastating rejection alarm that echoes in the studio… not the best for one’s self-esteem)

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Other men attempt to assert their financial independence.

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And some other men, are equally forefront about seeking financial compatibility.

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(c) Following from money, some men are after a particular class of women who come with carefully curated tastes, quality of life, and aesthetics.

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Others market themselves by connoting a lifestyle of carefree, middle-class leisure.

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(d) But having money and ‘class’ isn’t the same as being ‘educated’. And knowledge is crucial currency.

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Because the pen is mightier than the sword.

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After all, education is scared.

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And incompatible minds make for incompatible lives.

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One must choose wisely.

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Even when one is unsure if a good education = intellect.

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(e) Ah culture. Let the self/Other orientalizing/occidentalizing begin. Some women are pretty adamant about wanting a man from the same cultural background.

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And so, some foreign male contestants are met with rejection.

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There are the Chinese men who bear similar sentiments in desiring a woman from the same cultural background.

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There are the Chinese diaspora men who have returned to seek a woman of the same cultural background, for a variety of reasons.

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And there are the foreign men who have come especially because they desire Chinese women.

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For a variety of reasons, of course.

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Any thoughts? Beep me! Installment five on Family life to come.

Let's chat! Beep here!

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