I am submitting my thesis tomorrow.
For all the hype over submitting, thesis printing is extremely underwhelming.
To you, it’s the end of an era.
To the printers, you are merely one of several submitters they’ve seen today.
You spend four years poring over a great good thing.
And the last few hours battling basic formatting woes.
There will be celebrations of sorts,
only after you’ve waited out the stench of carbon and the sound of machines.
You express excitement and joy to all the service staff.
They mobilize routine affective customer service small talk.
You think about all the text you left on the cutting board.
They tell you incorrect prints must be paid for.
You secretly wish this was more momentous.
Undergrads crowding the printer just want you to be done ASAP.
The printing is done.
You are underwhelmed.
Until you find new typos in the final copy.
Which would obviously happen.
The end.
What a wonderful record of Submission Day! I think any PhD student could identify with this. But you’re wrong about the typos in the final comma: you only find them if you go looking, and you should leave that to others. Go out and celebrate! LIVE!!